Hahahaha

I'm engaged!

Well that's it! I'm on my way! Here's the story:

A couple nights ago (it was the day that we both finished classes so it was already an awesome day), Nancy got off of work downtown at about 8:15 at night. Me and Tuck met her and we decided to take a little walk down Main Street. I was NERVOUS! I had the ring in my pocket and was just hoping that tonight was the night to ask. I thought that I would know for sure if it was the right time.

So we walked to this new little Italian place and then realized that we couldn't go in because we had Tuck (CRAP!) so we kept walking. We went towards this little Christmas village thing with a bunch of pretty trees and little cosey buildings. The village was closed (CRAP CRAP!) but we could walk around and look at the trees anyway. We just kind of hugged each other and looked at the lights while Tuck jumped all over us (way to ruin the moment huh). I told her that I thought it was a perfect night.

After that, we sat down together on a bench in the little courtyard by there, and cuddled and talked some more. There was nobody anywhere around us but Tuck. Finally I knew it. We had talked about getting engaged, so I think she knew it was coming eventually. I said something like, "I've been thinking a lot about the best way to propose to you. I wanted to do something really crazy and mindblowing like ask you on stage at a Josh Groban concert, but I just couldn't think of the perfect thing. Then I decided I'd rather ask you while we're just being ourselves, just talking and cuddling and having fun together, because out of all the awesome times we've had together, those simple times together with you have always been my favorite." She said something like "That sounds great baby." I took a deep breath and said "Well, there is one thing that could make this night a little more perfect." I got on my knee and said "BABY! Will you marry me!?" She started crying and said YES and it definitely did make the night even more perfect.

We're planning on a wedding in the early summer of 2009. Me and my fiancé (YAYYYYYY) will be working hard until then!

Things That I Can't Understand

1. The difference between "in-law" and "step." Everytime I'm about to refer to a person that I know is either an in-law or a step-something I just pick one or the other and hope it's right. Nancy always cracks on me about it because it makes perfect sense to her. To me it's this complicated web of tracing family trees and analyzing relationships. I'd have to get a family flow-chart going every time for me to actually be able to figure out which is right.

2. Light bulbs. First of all, it's insanity that the tiny little thing inside there can light up a whole room. Second of all, I love how you pretty much need a chainsaw to get into most commercial products (like the packaging for scissors, which is kind of cruel), but the only thing separating the world from a light bulb is that tiny little layer of thick paper. They should start shipping pre-shattered ones so I can buy them broken rather than get all the way home and then drop it and scream. At least that way I won't get my hopes up.

3. Why bizarre dreams seem so real when we're in them. Last night I had a dream that Nancy and I stole a wedding cake from the wedding cake store, and my professor found out about it. Then my old neighbor was chasing me down the road so I tried to swim away through this lake, except it was only 6 inches deep so I couldn't get anywhere. I woke up sweating and about to scream and then realized how stupid I am.

4. How this blog is getting so much traffic. I'm getting like 300 views a day. Is that really possible? I definitely don't know 300 people, and I know that nobody that I don't know is going to want to read this nonsense. I'm going to assume that my counter is screwed up, because if that many people are reading, then I'm really going to have to put more effort into it. And I don't putting effort into anything. Except trying to figure out the whole in-law/step thing. I'm studying pretty hard on that one.

5. Why peanut butter and jelly work so well together. CONFESSION: I had my very first, all time, peanut butter and jelly sandwich last week. Since then, I've had at least two every day. They're amazing. I never thought it would work, but it does. Ebony and ivory. Peanut butter and jelly. Perfect harmony.

Time to play catch up...

This is what we call a bunch of things that have nothing to do with each other all stuffed into one post.

A friend of mine told me that my last post made him cry at work and somebody asked him if he was alright and he had to pretend that he had bad sinuses and had just sneezed. I'll have to put up a NOT SAFE FOR WORK warning next time.

For my web development class, we had to write a blog from scratch. It took FOREVER, but I finally got it working so that anyone can register and make new posts and stuff. I'm not going to use it or anything, but you guys can check it out while it's still up and running (probably won't be for very much longer). Check it out.

I'm learning how to make facebook applications so if anyone has any ideas for some let me know. Right now all I have is a little box that says IGNORE ME.

Nancy's cousin told me that he knew somebody who had too much weight on a trailer and they got fined $5000. Whew.

We've been cooking! No more Zaxby's for me! WHASUP!

And now you officially know everything.

"Just Water In Our Bodies"

I haven't talked about my dad in a while. I just woke up from a dream about him.

In the dream, somehow we found out that he only had a couple more days to live, because he got sick. After a bunch of really random things (you know how dreams are), we went out to eat for the last night. No restaurants were open, and he said it was because if they opened and he went there there would be a riot of people trying to get in to say bye to him. We finally found a place, and me and my sister had to sit on the floor for some reason. My parents kept trying to sneakily get me drunk, and I just pretended to drink. I thought that they probably assumed it would be easier for me if I didn't remember the last night, but I couldn't stand the thought of forgetting.

The next day, I went to his work to try and talk to some people he worked with while he was still alive. I remember hoping that when I got there, I'd find out that he hadn't told anybody about it, because that would mean that he was playing a trick on us and he was really ok. I found some guy that I recognized, and stopped him on some stairs. He realized who I was and broke into awkward chatter about pointless things and wouldn't make eye contact. Then my dad walked up behind him.

I said, "Hey dad." He didn't say hey back. He just said "Superheroes don't give themselves their nicknames. Somebody else does that." He paused and looked at me. He starting scrunching his face up to fight back tears, but I could see his eyes getting red. I knew then that it was real. "It's all just water in our bodies," he said.

That's when I woke up. For a second, it was relief; the dream wasn't real. And then it was.

On the upside, I went to Tsunami (the sushi place downtown) for the first time since I went with him the night before he died. I even saw the table we sat at. And I didn't cry. That's good right?

Or maybe crying doesn't matter anyway. Maybe it's all just water in our bodies.

MY WISH LISTS

Since Jen did it first, here are my Christmas lists. I've got two, one for CD's and one for everything else.

Now go and just have a shopping spree. No seriously.

What a perfect name for a lawyer.

Go here and laugh.

I done wrecked it.

Well, yesterday I wrecked the boss's car. Kind of. I'll give you some background to make it nice and exciting.

Doc sends me out sometimes to get rocks or compost or stuff like that for her house. Yesterday I took the 4runner out to get about a ton of mushroom compost (has anyone ever smelled that stuff by the way? I smelled like I took a bath in diarrhea after messing with it). On the way back, I'm just moseying down Wade Hampton Blvd. going like 35 or so, and the trailer starts shaking a little bit, then a little more, and after about a second it was fishtailing like crazy.

I literally started screaming and trying to correct it because the weight of all that compost was dragging the back end of the car with it so I was swinging across the lanes. Then the trailer shot out a little too far to the left, so the car was at a far enough angle that the tires planted and it flipped.

The driver's side was on the ground but the glass didn't break or anything. I sat there for a couple seconds just waiting for whoever was driving behind me to smash into me, but nobody did, so I looked up and there were already a few people gathered around the car screaming at me to see if I was ok. I have no idea how they got there so fast now that I think about it. But I was fine, and I jumped up and out the passenger side door.

Turns out that a tire on the trailer broke its seal and went flat. That's what caused it. In a few minutes there were cop cars and a couple fire trucks and ambulances there, but most of them left when they found out that I was ok and nobody else was involved. I don't know how I managed to turn a car on its side in the middle of Wade Hampton at rush hour and nobody else was near me. Lucked out on that one.

After a while, after everyone had left but me, the cop, and Johnathan the office manager (who got there pretty quickly), the cop basically gave us a lecture about towing way too much weight with a 4runner which can't handle it, and we left.

So that's my "I flipped a car on Wade Hampton" story. Here's a crappy cell phone picture so you know I'm not making it up, like I did with that post about the guy who came in to the office with the knife.

Top 10 Unintentionally Bad Company Websites

Taken from here. Enjoy.

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Tuck the Great

I finally got a chance to take a few pictures of our mac daddy dog. He's an Australian Cattle Dog...people around here call him a Blue Heeler. His name's Tucker and we've been calling him Tuck. We almost named him Walter after the book Walter the Farting Dog because he has a little gas problem.

He's been going everywhere with us, and I'm taking him to work everyday. We were worried he'd eat Tuna (or Tuna would eat him) but they're pretty good together...usually either chase each other around or just ignore each other. His breed needs TONS of exercise so I've been taking him for a run every morning and playing fetch with him in the afternoon. He goes crazy for a tennis ball.

Anyways, due to popular demand, here he is:

Did You Know?

I just found out that the USA PATRIOT act stands for "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing the Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism." I'm pretty sure that we have a super secret government branch that's top secret mission is creating disgustingly perfect acronyms. Can I get an amen? Thank you.

P.S. We got a dog. He is the man. I'll post pictures when I get some decent ones.

12 Fun things to do at a wedding

1. Show up with a baby and claim he belongs to the newlyweds
2. Cover yourself with glue to improve your chances of catching the bouquet.
3. Offer to show people pictures of the bride having an intimate moment with the best man.
4. Tell people that you knew the bride before the sex change operation.
5. Instead of a standard gift, give the newlyweds a gift certificate for a drug rehab clinic.
6. As you move down the receiving line, spit on each person.
7. When the bride is coming down the aisle, push the organist out of the way and start playing, "The Lady is a Tramp."
8. Propose a toast to the bride's nose job.
9. Steal the cards from the wedding gifts so no one can tell who they came from.
10. Walk up to various guests and demand to see their invitations.
11. Tell everyone that the groom had to be given Quaaludes to keep him from backing out.
12. Return a bra which the bride left in your car.

How Patrick Does Lunch

Patrick has a sincere love of phones. Almost as good as hot dogs. Nothing's better than a good hot dog.

Glad it's not me.

Courtesy of Robin. I could make a whole website out of wet cats.

Nothing funnier than a wet cat.

More of them.

That's a leap!

Check out how much my blog's views jumped when everybody at MetLife passed the one about my Dad around. It's insane.

Emma poses as Homer Simpson.

My sister's dog is amazing. She just has an itch.

Nancy left me for Michael Jackson!

HOME WRECKER!

Linux In The News

Thought I'd plug this NY Times article about Linux and Ubuntu. Read it. Twice.

Top 10 Free Programs Normal People Should Know About

Spread the word! Chances are, anyone who likes computers and free things has heard of/used just about all of these. But the non-geeks need to see the light! So off we go:

Opera

Opera is a web browser, just like Internet Explorer and much hyped Mozilla Firefox. However, Opera just seems to do things a little bit better. Speed tests show that Opera is just one of the fastest browsers around, beating IE and Firefox, among others. It has built in RSS Aggregator, email client (which is where I get my Furman and Gmail messages routed to), mouse gestures, contacts, notes, blah blah blah. Plus it's skinnable. And it has some features that most others lack (such as a magic wand that saves your usernames and passwords for any website so you can log in automatically, a BitTorrent downloader, a speed dial which is like bookmarks on acid, and thousands of widgets to add more functionality). Opera is the man.

Audacity

Audacity is a free program for audio-editing. It's easy to use, does a good job, and is cross-platform. What more can you ask for?

The GIMP

The GIMP, or GNU Image Manipulation Program, is basically a free and open source Photoshop. It has most, if not all, of the functionality of Photoshop. While the user interface is pretty wacky at first, once you get used to it it's hard to turn back. I use it pretty much every day for one thing or another. For anyone who has ANY interest in photos or graphics whatsoever, why not give it a shot? It's free, right?

Google Desktop

For anyone who hasn't heard of desktop search tools, they're pretty dang cool. They index anything and everything on your hard drive, so whenever you want to find a picture, document, song, whatever...all you have to do is type part of the file name or the contents and results instantly pop up. Saves me the time of searching through all of my folders trying to remember where I stuck something. While Yahoo! and X1 have decent desktop search tools, I like Google's. Press ctrl twice for it to pop up, or you can just stick a little search box on the taskbar.

OpenOffice.org

OpenOffice.org provides a free and open source office suite. It looks and acts a lot like MS Office, but costs a couple hundred less dollars. OO includes a word processor, a spreadsheet, a presentation program, a database management program, a math function creator, and a drawing program. I haven't been able to find anything in MS Office that's missing from OpenOffice, so go ahead and support open source and save money.

Inkscape

Inkscape is a really cool free drawing program that works a lot like the expensive Adobe Illustrator. It is VERY capable, pretty user friendly, and not too bad looking either. It is vector based, so it stores each object as its own object which can be modified, rather than working in layers such as The GIMP. Check it out.

Winamp

Winamp is an awesome little media player. I used it religiously before I moved to Linux and switched to Audacious. It's skinnable, leaves a relatively small footprint on your CPU (i.e., much less than Windows Media Player but still more than something like Quintessential Player), has a built in Media Library, retrieval of streams from Shoutcast, and supports most video formats as well. It's probably the coolest media player for Windows there is.

Yahoo! Widgets

Yahoo! has a little engine for widgets, which are basically little tiny things you can put anywhere on your desktop to do almost anything you want. Look at the screen shot to really understand this. You can find computer information monitors, weather forecasts, media players, picture frames, note pads, even some that tell you where to find the cheapest gas or what is coming on TV that day. Part of the reason that Yahoo!'s system is so great is just because of the sheer number of widgets out there. There are TONS of them. Check it out.

Mozilla Thunderbird

Mozilla Thunderbird (from the same guys that make Firefox obviously) is a really popular email client. As far as free email systems go, it's pretty much the cream of the crop. Through plugins, it can even be set up to receive http messages, such as Hotmail and Yahoo, which most email clients aren't capable of. It's also skinnable (do we see a pattern developing?).

Picasa

Picasa is a program made by Google for managing and editing photos. It will organize, crop, modify, and view, and look really cool doing it. Anyone with a lot of photos should check it out.

Well that's that. Stay tuned for version two, which will be some programs that even the computer nuts may not know about.

Jeff Seltzer's Eulogy

Just got a copy of what Jeff said at Dad's funeral. Here it is for anyone who is saving everything:

For those who do not know me, my name is Jeff Seltzer. I have had the privilege to be a colleague of Rick’s for the past 15 years. During this time I have come to know Rick in many different ways: as a co-worker, as my boss, as a mentor, a peer, and a family man. And lastly I have been lucky to know him as my friend. It is an honor to stand before you and speak of this unique and special person.

Since receiving the news of Rick’s passing, I have been reflecting on our relationship these past 15 years. It is no surprise to realize Rick has made a positive and lasting impression on the lives of many people, mine included.

I 1st met Rick while I was a young computer programmer recently graduated from college. Rick was a senior member of the Information Technology Management Team at Liberty Life. I was initially intimidated by his presence and wowed by his intelligence. How completely wrong I was to be intimidated and how 100% right I was to be WOWED!

Rick possessed a unique combination of intelligence, humility, humor, and compassion. He was both a skilled communicator and listener.

I quickly came to realize these gifts shortly after I began to work for Rick. I remember the day clearly. I slumped into Rick’s office to notify him that I had made a mistake (actually failed) with an assignment he had given me. I was expecting the worst, but as I communicated my failure to Rick, a small smile emerged on his face (as if he knew all along that I would end up right where I was). He had used the assignment and my struggles as an opportunity to teach me some important lessons about people and leadership – things he knew so well. We made a connection on this day, and a lasting relationship was established. A relationship that I would call upon literally 1000’s of times over the next 15 years.

It was a pleasure to work with and watch Rick “in Action.” He could:

• Conquer the most complex challenge
  
• Defuse stressful moments
  
• Unify people towards common goals
  
• Make complex things simple and understandable
  
• Teach and mentor in various styles with lasting impact.
  

Rick’s list of professional accomplishments is long and impressive. He was able to succeed at anything he applied himself towards. I have witnessed Rick deliver complex software solution to their successful end state on many occasions. These accomplishments alone are impressive and to proud of. But Rick’s impact extends far beyond software delivery.

Rick’s professional legacy will largely be measured by the leadership he provided and the investment he made into the personal development of so many. I am one of the many, and credit Rick for “showing me the way” time and time again. He was always available to engage in dialogue and debate on a variety of topics. He was a great sounding-board and could listen intently while maintaining an open mind towards other points of view. And when needed - he could just “tell you what to do,” and make you think that you came up with the solution all on your own.

You always walked away from a conversation with Rick better than you were before it started.

I have heard others described Rick as “wise.” I think this is a perfect description and it extends outside the professional arena. He had knowledge of so many things: family, music, sports, history, and more. He was equally open to sharing his knowledge in these areas as he was in the professional areas. I recall numerous conversations with Rick where I sought his advice as I attempted to navigate through major life changing events. He was there for me when my wife and I married, and again when my wife and I brought children into the world. He was a generous giver of his time and his resources. I am a better husband, father, and person due to the wonderful life advice Rick has provided through the years.

And let’s not forget Rick’s creative sense of humor. I recall a story recently told to me by a co-worker – John Gilmore. John approached Rick and jokingly asked, “Rick, I have been living in the south for 2 years now since my move from the northeast, am I now a southerner?” Rick’s quick and witty response was, “a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that don’t make them biscuits.” I am pretty sure John got the point.

Mine is just one reflection of the positive impact Rick has had on so many of us. The sadness of his passing is felt outside the walls of Liberty Life, MetLife, and the local community. I have spoken to people in Texas, Minnesota, Canada, NY, NJ, and from other companies who have expressed how privileged they are to have been associated with Rick. We are all fortunate to have known Rick and can never express the gratitude we feel towards him for what he has done to brighten our lives and make us better people. His legacy will live on.

My sympathy goes out to everyone who knew Rick. The Crittenden family has lost a valued love one, co-workers have lost a trusted colleague, and I, along with so many others, have lost an irreplaceable friend.

For me, 15 years was too short. But WHAT an amazing 15 years it has been.

Rick, from all of us, thanks for everything. :)

Nancy's Birthday!

My little Nance turned 20 yesterday. Her friends threw her a little surprise part saturday night (which was way too much fun), we went to dinner with a friend of hers downtown last night, and today was the big shabang.

Her mastermind sister got the idea for a petting zoo (because Nancy is an animal lover to the extreme) and Nan had NO idea. She kept saying "OH MY GOD THERE'S A DONKEY IN THE BACKYARD!" Score one for Jen.

My mom got her this huge cake decorated with all cosmetology stuff like makeup and brushes and bobby pins. It was perfect for her. It didn't last long though.

And as a perfect end to a perfect weekend, I'm working on a presentation about Creative Commons. The only upside to this is I got a geek-chic program called KeyJnote that makes presentations pretty slick. You guys should check it out.

I think one of these days I'll have to post a top 40 list of my favorite free apps. Until then, I'll be here if you need a very cheap computer guy's advice.

-Mike

Miketown: A REVOLUTION!

I got all giddy about web developing because of this IT class I'm taking, and went out and made a little website. My problem is that I like spending all my time making things look good, and I can't ever figure out anything to put on there that anyone will actually want to look at.

So everyone go to check out MIKETOWN and tell me what I could put up that would make you want to look at it.

Rice Art

"Every year, farmers in the rural town Inakadate, Japan creates rice field art by using red rice in with their regular rice in special patterns. A few others fields in rural Japan also followed the trend of this beautiful rice field art."

Watch the process.

The Dreaded Update

Just wanted to let everyone know how things have been going the past couple days. It's a week ago today that he died. The day my dad died. I can't quite decide if it's been the fastest or the slowest week of my life, but I'm almost positive it's been the worst.

It's getting a little more believable every day. Now that the rush of people in and out of the house is starting to slow down, the phone isn't ringing quite so often, and we're not running all over the place preparing for the funeral, reality is starting to drip in through the cracks in our little walls of distractions. It's easy to compose myself when I've got other things on your mind, but when a normal day goes by and I realize that I can't call him at the end of it, that's when the wall comes down. When my car starts making noises and I can't ask him about it, or when I have a test that I complain about to him, or when Furman wins and I can't call him to ask if he was watching, that's when it gets tough. This is the first school year I've started without him asking me all about my new classes.

But we're getting stronger every day. I've finally gotten to the point where I can think about him and not get choked up. Me and Nancy can talk and joke about his corny sense of humor and his legendary childhood stories and we can actually laugh instead of just feeling robbed, although that feeling is still alive and screaming. Does it ever lay down and die? I hope so, but hope is only hope. All in all, seems like a lot of progress for a week, doesn't it? For anyone who knew my dad, I think we can all agree that this is more like what he would have wanted. He hated to see anyone upset, so we're trying to hold ourselves together. I went to work yesterday. Everyone kept telling me it was a good idea to get back into the swing of things, and try to get myself out of the funk, and I think they were right. And I found out that my work may be giving me paid time off for the past week, which could end up being a lifesaver.

Back to Nancy, people don't realize how hard this has all been for her. Her and my dad had a special bond. He's the only person who has ever made her feel safe on a boat. Instead of having anxiety attacks, she had the time of her life on that thing. They are both happy go lucky people, and sometimes she was the only one who got a kick out of his terrible jokes. She used to love to try and imitate all the crazy little faces he would make without knowing it. I guess I just want people to understand that even though it's not her dad, she loved him. And she lost him, just like the rest of us. This isn't easy for anyone. So give her a break.

But I do want to thank everyone for everything you all have done for me, my mom, and Erin. Something like 350 people came to the funeral. Dad was so modest that we never had any idea that he was that loved by that many people. MetLife had Bucky's BBQ (my dad's favorite place) cater lunch for 600 people the day of the funeral. That has to be a record. And they gave the whole office the rest of the day off. My friends have been right beside me for every step of this huge staircase, and I know that that's right where they're staying. I honestly don't know where we would be without all of you. Thank you.

Well I have some Oreo's and a Japanese Culture textbook with my name on them, so I better get going. Dad wouldn't want my grades going down. Or my weight.

Another Eulogy

This was circulating around MetLife by email. John Geyer also read most, if not all, of it in his speech. For anyone who wants copies of these things, here it is:

It is with deepest sympathy and heartfelt sadness that we share in the loss of a wonderful colleague and great friend, Rick Crittenden, who passed away over the weekend.

All who knew Rick recognized that he was a truly unique and special person. He possessed a rare combination of personal attributes. He was incredibly intelligent, most would say brilliant. In fact, some of us referred to him as a "walking encyclopedia". Yet he was enormously humble. He would prefer to deflect all attention to others. He was as warm as a newly baked loaf of bread and had a self deprecating sense of humor that painted a smile right across your face. He was a gifted communicator both in a cubicle or on a stage. We can recall someone once remarking that “they could listen to him forever”, with his soothing voice, relaying key facts and information in a way that made you really want to listen generously. He was a captivating story teller who could translate highly complex issues into simple, digestible concepts using analogies that were as clever as they were effective. We fondly referred to his in depth teachings or discussions as the “full Crittenden”. And he was very simple yet incredibly sophisticated. He would equally savor dining at Bucky's Bar-B-Q and debating the works of Chaucer. And while Rick cared passionately about those closest to him he would also find a minute in his very busy day to be a friend to anyone. He approached all situations with enormous empathy and was non-judgemental. Many of us counted on Rick for his sage advice and knew that we could ask him anything without fear of feeling, well, dumb.

And Rick was not afraid to take on a challenge. He was hired into MetLife in 2000 to drive the types of projects others run from. Rick's leadership ensured that both the Atlas/Ingenium project and the launch of the Critical Illness business were successful. In fact, his performance on these projects made it clear to all around him that he was the guy to shape our entire technology architecture moving forward. In 2005 Rick took responsibility for the IT Architecture group. With the precision and passion of a craftsman, Rick labored intensively over the details of our technology future. In two short years he built an IT architecture blueprint and an IT architecture team that will drive MetLife's success for years to come. But he never wanted anyone to think it was about him. He preferred to have us think that his deep insights were either obvious conclusions or the work of others. We did not fall for it Rick, not for a minute. We knew you were brilliant.

And with all of this we have not yet touched on Rick's true passion, music. Some knew that Rick was a musician by love and original trade. In college he was a music major and taught saxophone at Mansfield State. He blew the sax with the best of them backing up the likes of the Temptations, the Box Tops and with Bob Hope and many others. Once again, Rick preferred to be behind the scenes. But just like us, these entertainers knew that Rick was the straw that stirred the drink.

Yes, Rick was blessed with that rare combination of brilliance and humility. He was passionate about his family, loyal to his friends and committed to the success of MetLife. He was a teacher at heart with music in his soul. He made outstanding contributions to our organization and has left a legacy that will endure for many years. Those of us who were fortunate enough to have known Rick recognize that we are better people as a result.

May God bless Rick Crittenden.

I'll be posting the speeches from the funeral

As I get them, I'll post them up here for anyone who wants to keep them. Here is my uncle Rob's speech, which he and my aunt Deb put together.

Our brother Rick was wedged between the two of us in birth order. Deb and I look like each other and something like our parents, and there are behavioral traits that seem to point us toward our parents. But Rick was different…he didn’t look like any of us, and in so many ways he seemed to be from another sector. He was incredibly brilliant, to the point that I said that he used up most of the family brains and there weren’t many left over in the gene pool for me. And Rick’s intelligence was in the range of “scary smart” to the point that neither one of us were ever willing to play card games (or much of anything else) with him at home because he would always win!!! And his talents…in music, in humor, in his quick grasp of any subject…put him in another league.

Rick was born with a heart defect that haunted him his entire life. He was diagnosed with this defect at 4 months old and made his first trip to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore at 10 months. He had open-heart surgery to repair the heart defect when he was almost 13 in 1968 at Johns Hopkins amidst the burning of Baltimore during the riots created immediately following Martin Luther King’s assassination. With the miracle of modern medicine, we got to know and love Rick for not 10 or 20 or 30 years, but we are thankful that we were blessed by Rick’s presence in our life for 52. We wish would have kept him longer.

Rick was always smiling as a baby. Our mom remembers that he was incredibly happy and incredibly busy. He was into everything. Rick was very interested in sports as a boy, or you might say obsessed, but not able to participate in much because of his heart condition, which disappointed and frustrated him. Mom & Dad remember that Rick was born tactful – he never, ever wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings. One of his first jobs as a teenager was as a first base umpire in Little League, which didn’t work out at all because that’s a job where someone’s always going to be upset with you…. So that job didn’t last too long because it made him too stressed. I can always remember him taking the sports page of the daily paper first everyday and reading it front to back. Knowing him, he probably memorized all the box scores.

Being five years younger than Rick, I was a pest to him. But he certainly wasn’t an angel either. I mouthed off…he busted me in the mouth. In fact, Rick was the one who removed my front teeth when I was about six. I deserved it. He would punch me when my parents weren’t looking, and I would stuff the underside of his pillowcase with weeds, so while he slept, they would exacerbate his already-horrible hay fever. I looked forward to the day that I would grow taller than Rick and really clean his clock, but when the day came, he was awfully nice to me and I didn’t see the point.

We found out many years later that on every Christmas Eve, Rick would go downstairs in the middle of the night, open everyone’s presents, rewrap them and act surprised at what everyone gave and received a few hours later. And one Christmas, when I was about four or five, he emptied my Christmas stocking early on Christmas before anyone got up and filled it with switches. I was devastated. Mischievous, quick-to-laugh, brilliant, devoted, kind to a fault. That was our brother.

I can remember night after night of Rick blowing into his various collections of saxophones. There are musicians and then there are musicians. Rick was in that rare collection of those who go to the highest level of their talents, first excelling by winning everything available to win at the state level in high school, then excelling at Furman, where he met his wife Jeannie and where he received a degree in music education. Finally he went on to the big time at Indiana University, where he received his Masters in Music Performance. We were all so proud of him.

He loved his family so much: his wife Jeannie who he was married to for 29 years, and his two children, Erin and Michael – they were the joy of his life.. And as much as he loved music, he loved his family much more and changed careers when he realized that he would have a hard time supporting his family in his chosen field of music. Rick was so smart that he could just change what he had done for years and learn something completely new. You must understand that Rick could have chosen anything, ANYTHING, and he would have excelled at it. He grew in his career but Jean and the kids were always number one.

My one regret is that Rick and I stayed so busy in our careers that we didn’t spend that much together in adulthood. We stayed in touch electronically but didn’t get together much. For years we gently teased each other over e-mail. I can remember his admission to the hospital about 15 or 20 years over a heart issue. I called him while I was on a business trip to Brazil and told him some jokes I had heard down there and he laughed so much that I thought it mess up all the contraptions he was hooked up to. So I eased up on the jokes. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with his heart. They all threw up their hands. Rick got on the internet, read medical journals, and self diagnosed his problem. They treated him and it worked. That’s our brother.

Although Rick was born with a heart that didn’t function properly in the physical sense and had to be repaired, his heart worked exceptionally well in a non-physical way. Rather than letting his health concerns make him focused on himself, Rick’s heart seems to expand in kindness to others. He was probably the most tenderhearted person I’ve ever known.

So we are thankful for having him as a brother for all these years. He was a joy to us as I know he was to all of you. But we are going to miss him terribly. The world is a lesser place without him. We love you, Rick.

Craziest Optical Illusion Ever

For anyone who hasn't seen it yet, here it is:


Look again. The A and B squares are actually the exact same color.

In the news (not so exciting this time)

Dad's full obituary was printed today. My mom's best friend Susan wrote it, and we made a couple modifications. I think it captures him as well as you can in a few paragraphs.

Richard C. Crittenden
Greer

Richard C. "Rick" Crittenden died suddenly Sunday, September 9, 2007, at his home in Greer. He was a loving husband, father and son, an exceptionally skilled businessperson and a gifted musician. His time here was marked by a deep commitment to family, career and friendship.

He was born June 11, 1955, in Newport News, Virginia. Rick had a long love of the water and boats that began at an early age. During his time in South Carolina, the saltwater marshes of Edisto Island and the mountain waters of Lake Jocassee became the special settings for kayaking, sailing and fishing, some of his fondest pursuits with his wife Jean and their two children, Erin and Michael. Rick was also a longtime and avid fan of Furman Univeristy athletics.

Rick's first career as a saxophonist was underpinned by an undergraduate degree from Furman University and a Master's Degree from Indian University. His virtuosity as a musician was evident in the range of work he performed, from gigs with the Temptations and the Four Tops, to classical concerts with the Greenville Symphony. He taught music on every level from middle school to college, and he was a band director and a band member.

The gifts he displayed as a musician became the framework for his career in Information Technology, a field he pursued after additional training at Furman. He spent the last 21 years in the field, at Liberty Life Insurance and then at Metlife, where he was Chief Architect and Assistant Vice President.

He is survived by his wife of 29 years, Jean Marie Sansone Crittenden; his children, Erin Crittenden Shanafelt, Michael Anthony Crittenden, Stephen Mark Shanafelt and Nancy Marie Granger. He is also survived by his parents, Thomas Stilson and Gaybrooke Garrett Crittenden of Morehead City, N.C.; his sister, Debra Cantrell of Chicago, Ill.; and his brother, Robert Crittenden of Roanoke, Va.; and five nieces and nephews.

A memorial service will be held Thursday, September 13, 2007, at 2 p.m. at The Mackey Mortuary with visitation from 1 to 1:45 p.m.

Friends are invited and encouraged to record a video tribute before or after the service at the mortuary.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the American Heart Association, 3535 Pelham Rd., Ste 101, Greenville, SC 29615.

The Mackey Mortuary, Century Drive.
A message of condolence may be sent to the family by visiting www.mackeymortuary.com

Published in The Greenville News: 09-12-2007

My dad passed away this morning.

Sometimes, my dad stays on the couch and plays on the computer or watches TV after my mom goes to bed. Then he'll fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night and go to bed. That's what happened last night, except my mom woke up this morning, and he wasn't in bed. He was still asleep on the couch.

She panicked and ran to him and tried to wake him up. She said that she talked and then talked louder and then nudged him a couple times. It took her a few minutes until she realized that he wasn't going to wake up. She called 911, and 2 cops and a couple paramedics showed up. They checked him over and said something like "Now you know that there's nothing we can do, right?" My mom said "No! Can't you do the shocks or something!" No shocks. No anything. Nothing but that bitter aftertaste of denial and nausea you get when something truly horrible happens. They said that he'd been dead since 1:00 or 2:00 AM. They didn't know why, and we're not going to have an autopsy.

She found him at 8:00 AM. She called me around 9:00 AM and left a voicemail saying it was an emergency. I called back right away. She said "Son, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but I have some bad news." I expected her to say that my grandma had died, and I took a deep breath for that. As composed as possible, she said "Your dad passed away late last night."

I always thought that when I got life-changing news like that, news that takes years to think about without your eyes swelling, I thought it wouldn't seem real at first. I was wrong. It hit me hard as hell, and I screamed and cried and started running over ways that she could be wrong, but I knew that no one is wrong about something like that. The only words I got out were "that's my dad! that's my dad!" over and over to Nancy and John and Jen and Karen and anyone who came in to try and help me. At least that's all I can remember saying in the deep gray blur of this morning. The morning I found out my dad had died.

So it's 12 hours later now. After a day of pinballing back and forth between crying and hugging, it finally doesn't seem real. It ran me over, then backed right back up and pulled away. I'm better somehow. I don't know if it's denial or shock or just that my eyes are all cryed out, but I'm very normal right now. That's kind of melancholy in itself.

I guess if it had to happen, it happened in the best way possible. I got to spend all of last night with him. We ate sushi (something we always used to do that we haven't gotten to do in a while), visited Nancy at work, then just drove around downtown and talked for a long time. He told me all about the ways downtown were changing, and the history museum coming this month, and how the Furman team was shaping up this year. We had a great night. The night before my dad died. We wanted to start doing it every Saturday. I guess we can't now, but I'm going to try it alone next weekend in his honor and see how it goes.

Some more good things: My sister spent Wednesday night with him. My mom slept through the whole night (something that she NEVER does as a result of her insomnia) so she didn't find him till this morning instead of the middle of the night (which is a blessing). It's Sunday so we were all able to come over and she didn't have to break the news to us at work or anything. And the EMT said that he died in his sleep. He didn't seem like he had struggled or even moved. He was probably gone before he had a chance to know anything was happening. It all seems very orchestrated...a little too perfect, you know? Take it religiously or take it like luck. I don't care. But I'm glad it happened like it did.

After a flurry of calls from relatives and friends that my mom had to deal with singlehandedly (me and my sister were too much of a wreck), his boss called and told my mom that he was a "rare mix of genius and humility." I guess he had it pretty close. He was (I HATE having to say "was") the most genuine, kind-hearted, friendly, good person I've ever known. My dad. Mine. I know we'll hold it together without him, but I'd do anything to not have to find out how we're gonna do it.

I just already miss him. I walked into his closet today looking for slippers to wear (in the havoc this morning I forgot socks so my feet were freezing). I saw his shoes on the floor, and just sat down and looked at them and cried alone in the closet for a few minutes. The people who took him away sent back all the stuff he had on him and in his pockets, and my mom gave me his watch. I can't put it down. It's on top of the bedpost right next to me as I'm typing this, because I can't type and hold it at the same time. Nancy found the receipt from sushi last night and framed it for me. I keep seeing his crappy handwriting where he wrote the tip amount (he always gave huge tips) and at least I know I'll always remember him by the night we spent together.

But I can't stop thinking of all the things that will be missing to all of us now. Who will eat all of the apples my mom bought for him (like she does every week) or drink all the diet orange soda or take us out on the boat or tell us what the newest building is downtown or call me and leave me a voicemail telling me exactly what time of day it is even though it tells me that anyway or take pictures with the thumb covering up the lens or make all of our corny jokes or leave shoes for people to trip on or...or...answer to "diddyo"? Who will be my dad?

He will. That's who. He'll always be my dad. I'll always love him. Although my knees buckled when I realized that he won't be there for my graduation or my wedding or my children, I finally decided that he really just has the best seat in the house for it all.

Desperation

Simply awesome. Flickr Link.

If only I had a room big enough...

"Perfect for watching long movies: Video of fish swimming along a coral reef plays on an overhead LED panel at a new shopping district in Beijing. The 2,296- by 88-foot flat screen is said to be the biggest in Asia."

Link.

Biggest spray bottle of all time.

Nancy In The News

Two news stories in one day. We're like Brad and Angelina, except much better looking. Check this out! It should be in the Greenville News late in October.

Soon to be stylist changes people’s minds along with their hair

During prom season at Greenville High, Nancy Granger was always the one friends turned to for hair and makeup that looked just right. So it seemed only natural when, after a semester in elementary education, she decided instead to do something she’d love forever. Even so, some of those same friends weren’t sure cosmetology was a real career that could bring in real money.

Granger was sure of her choice though. She enrolled in the Cosmetology Program at Greenville Tech in 2005. A year later, she captured second place in South Carolina’s SkillsUSA Competition. A few of the judges came from Ivy Salon. Impressed with Granger’s skills and her work ethic, they encouraged her to come to a group interview at the salon. She got the job, now working as a receptionist for Ivy, with downtown and Thornblade locations.

Once she graduates in December, she’ll start out as an assistant, receive training in Ivy’s advanced techniques, and then move on to a stylist position. The timing depends on her qualifications, but another assistant moved up in just a month. “You talk together and figure out when they think you’re ready and you think you’re ready, and then you go out on the floor and start taking on clients of your own,” she said.

Those who were iffy about her career choice once have come around. “They’re really proud of me,” she said. “ People are thinking twice about it. A big part of who I am and where I work is showing people the stereotypes aren’t true. We’re people who are creative, artistic and hardworking. There’s a lot of technique and skill that goes along with being a stylist.”

We're in the news.

Today a dog came in with an eye injury. The owner says that their neighbor saw the mailman shoot the dog with a BB gun. She said the mailman didn't know that the dog had an electric fence so he was scared it would attack him. Then the dog comes to us. It's a CHIHUAHUA. There's supposedly still a BB in its little eye. Here's the article from the Greenville News. Who knows what actually happened. But the poor little thing with its eye all sewn up is pretty dang pitiful.

Witness Claims Postal Carrier Shot Dog

GREER -- Authorities are trying to find out who shot Jack the Chihuahua.

"From the way that the neighbor described it, he basically pulled out an air rifle or a BB gun of some kind and just shot at the dog until my dog started yelping," said Tiffany Gorseth, who said the dog is recuperating at a veterinary clinic from an eye injury.

A witness told Greer police that a U.S. Postal mail carrier shot the dog outside the Greer residence on Tuesday, according to a police report of the incident, which occurred sometime between noon and 4 p.m. But Greer police spokesman Lt. Cris Varner said that after an animal control officer spoke with a different witness today, "We do not believe it was a postal carrier."

Harry Spratlin, spokesman for the Greater South Carolina District of the U.S. Post Office, said the postal inspection service is investigating.

"We’ve talked about this with the person that’s being accused," Spratlin said. "We’re really concerned."

Postal carriers are prohibited from carrying weapons, he said. They’re instructed to avoid dogs, even those who only want to be petted.

If a dog attacks, they are to fend them off with their mail satchel, and if it appears the dog might bite, they are to spray them with Mace, he said.

Gorseth, who said Jack belongs to her son, was at her contract job at BMW Corp. when the incident occurred. Jack and her mother’s dog, a golden retriever named Miss C, were in the yard, which has invisible fencing to contain the dogs, she said.

"He did come through surgery OK, and they said everything’s looking good," said Gorseth. "He will fit inside your pocketbook," Gorseth said. "There is no way that this person could say they feared for their life."

Funny Spam

The office email got this spam email that's just so stupid that I cracked up. Here it is:

My boyfriend's putz is too big for my mouth.

Baronesses always whooped at me and even chaps did in the public water closet!
Well, now I whizgiggle at them, because I took Me_ga. d_ik.
for 4 months and now my peter is extremely best than usual.
shop for http://hiatto1.com/
--------------------------
Rafalski were credited with assists. In the second
last year, said that this bill would not have a long
concentrate on the question what framework of the
March 30 is Education and Sharing day in the United
they already had two points carried forward from their

I have absolutely no idea what the second part's talking about.

Panda Bear Development

You guys have to check this out.

The Art of Letter Writing

So Doc read this article about how important letters were to Victorian England, and now she's writing me like we're stuck a couple centuries ago. Here's where we're at so far.

My original letter:

JV -
My lab starts 9/11 (Tuesday). Do you want me to go back to early Thursdays or what?
Thank you kindly,
MC

Doc wrote back pretending to be Johnathan (the office manager). She even stuck a little stamp in the corner.

My dearest Michael,

Your recent request is under immediate consideration. With all due respect we diligently ponder all possibilities as quickly as possible as we always try to do.

May I suggest a colored note paper or an imprint with your initials on your next request.

We of course will work in your favor to honor your needs.

As always,
JV

I wrote back on green paper and I stole her stamp:

My dearest Johnathan,

I trust that you will forgive my untimely and abrupt request. I carry no doubts, dear Sir, that the matter will be dealt with in accordance to the ver values which we, in business and in life, hold most dear. I speak, of course, of diligence, temperament, and pragnacity.

However, I digress. I hereby respectfully request to be relieved of all given clerical duties every Tuesda until the hour of 4 and 30 minutes. I remain happy to oblige with any means of accomplishment of this task, including unforseen alterations that you may see fit.

I trust that this reply has successfully addressed any and all questions that you may have retained from my previous reply, and I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience which may greet you as a result of my request.

I remain, as always,
Michael Crittenden

She strikes again:

Dearest Michael,

Consider to be forgiven for the unquestionably presumptious request.

However, I find it quite difficult to excuse our inappropriate usage of our language (i.e., pragnacity). In the future I am sure you will ponder your epistomology composition. I trust I have not spoken too plainly as I certainly hope to retain your friendship.

Please abstain from sticker borrowing on your next reply as it lends to a questionable character on your part.

As I am, of course, reluctant to make complaints I do so for your own good and can always be available for further advice.

I remain dear Sir,
JV

I just don't know how to top that one. I guess this is the madness that goes on once school starts and we stop getting business.

ROGIN

Robin showed up on the mobile Saturday with her cute little black and white kitten with a crazy eyeball. WHASUP!

Fun Things To Do On An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
Lean against the button panel.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

5 Reasons to Change Your License Plate

1:

2:

3:

4:

5:

It's early and I'm working.

What an oxymoron for me huh? Anyways funny story about last night.

I was downtown waiting for Nancy to get off work and these three girls walked by. They were all like 16. One of them kept peeking at me and looking away. After a minute they stopped and talked about somethin, and then turned around and walked right up to me.

Girl 1: Hi, how are you?
Me: Alright, how about you?
Girl 1: Good, I just wanted to talk to you because my friend thinks you're cute.
Girl 2: SHUT UP!
Me: uhhhh
Girl 1: Here she is, her name's Amber.
Girl 2: Is she embarrassing me? haha. ha. erm.
Girl 1: So what are you doing downtown tonight?
Me: I'm actually waiting on my girlfriend.
Girl 1: ....oh. Nice meeting you.
Girl 2: SEE WHAT YOU DID!
Girl 1: I'm SORRY!

And they walk away. It was all very exciting for me.

On the beach.

Man, what a trip it was this year. Nancy kayaked with dolphins. My mom got stuck waste deep in mud...twice, Noodle became Nautical Noodle, and I just laughed. Here's some pictures.

Albino squirrel started our trip off with style:

Flying squirrel Erin found.

Who brought the cat?

FREE COCOA!

Poor mean Cocoa finally gets to go home. After three months, the owner came and paid $50 and that was enough for us to get Cocoa out of there. Her bill was $500 and would have been almost $2000 if we had been charging for boarding all that time.

I start class in about a month. Boo.

We leave for the beach this Sunday! For a WEEK! That's like seven days. I'm planning on taking pictures of everything, and not doing anything else. At all.

It's been like some kind of epidemic at the vet lately. Erin was out almost a week, then Steven started throwing up and was out a few days, then Johnathan got vertigo. I was chillin', healthy as ever.

Nancy fell on our stairs and screwed up her tailbone. This is how it went:

Nancy: I'll be right back.
Me: mkay.

CRACK!!!!!! SPLASH!!!!

Nancy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!
Me: AH! WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT YOUR TOE YOUR HAIR YOUR STOMACH YOUR BACK!
Nancy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Me: PAIN MEDICINE PAIN MEDICINE ICE PACK SWOLLOW THIS HOLD THIS QUICK AH!

And 5 days later, it still hurts her like crap. Her stepmother, the chiropractor, said she thinks it's broken. I hope not!

I'm gonna go buy some doughnuts I think. Craving. Ciao.

Courtesy of Johnathan

Courtesy of Johnathan...


More.

More geekery

I've screwed around with Ubuntu a little bit.