Newspapers and drag queens.

Quite a day. Here's the outline:

• Woke up, decided not to study, tried to set the alarm later but accidentally set the clock later in my sleepy stupidness.
• Woke up again a little late, but since I set the clock back later I thought it was like an hour later than it was, so I freaked out.
• Figured it out, felt stupid.
• Ate too much breakfast.
• Did alright on the quiz.
• Met Nancy for frozen lunch. Mmmm.
• Walked into work with them blasting my song.
• Said "you butthole" and ran away.
• Heard my song being blasted over the work intercom and screamed a little.
• Saw a hook caught in a dog's lip and the tiniest dog in the world. More of a rodent than a dog.
• Waited approximately 14 hours for them to make me a burger at FU.
• Drove around for another 14 hours looking for a parking spot.
• Found one and went to the drag queen show.
• Laughed and laughed. Although the 70 year old woman in front of me enjoyed it more than anybody. You should have seen her.
• Came home to find that I have to read exactly 18 articles out of the NYTimes for political science.
• Took a break to write this.

I'm feelin' the need to go into more detail about the drag show. For one, they were great singers. Called themselves a "dragapella" group. They were pretty racy but not really over the limit. Highlight was when they dragged some guy named Thomas up from the crowd and dressed him in drag. He rocked it. They also kindheartedly thanked all the protesters for the amount of publicity they brought to them. It was PACKED. Lowlight: SEEING THEM CLOSE UP! From far away you could kind of tell they were men but from close up they looked like a horrible clown-drag-beastwithtoomuchmakeup nightmare. Especially the little Asian one. Gives me the shivers to think about. Tuna will protect me.

Well it just tickles my fancy to find out that my poll already has so many votes. I think it's really like 3 people that keep voting but I like to pretend that I'm getting groupies.

To avoid reading more articles, I'm gonna write a blues song about today. Here goes.

Woke up this morning,
Set the clock back.
Woke up again,
Anxiety attack.

Mmm chocolate waffle.
No gum afterwards.
My breath's something awful.
Can't say a woooooord

I got the blues!
Men, women, at the same time
The drag queen blues!
Welllll I'm readin in da paper
My teach, just can't escape her....
I got the blues.

That was truly terrible. Thank you. I'd say I won't quit my day job but I think I might have more talent at writing blues than at explaining dewormers.

Show and tell time!

If anyone wants to buy me a birthday present, look no further.

Gourmet urinals:


Alligator story:

When I was about 10, I was taking a bath one morning and I heard this crash kind of sound. I peaked around the shower curtain and didn't see anything so I didn't care.

Later, I was getting out and I happened to look at the toilet and there was an alligator in the bowl looking right at me. I screamed my naked little head off!

Then I realized that the alligator head I had on a shelf above the toilet fell in the toilet and I wasn't going to die. I took a picture to capture the moment:

As lifelike as it looks, I must admit it's fake. But you can see why I was so scared.

Alright I'm starting to talk a little crazy so I think I should leave.

Hasta!